How and Why my Faith Underwent a Transformation

I am a follower of Christ. I gave my heart to Him at a young age. In the years since, my faith has gotten me through very hard times. It is part of how I cope with my CP, and other struggles of life. Every time I’ve doubted, Him, or messed up in other ways He shows me a mercy I don’t deserve…not even a little bit. Since undergrad I’ve been on what I term a “faith transformation.” It started when I realized I’d never be like anybody else.

This realization brought about the following questions: Was I comfortable in that knowledge? If not, how do I get to the point I am? If I am, how do I use my unique situation to make the world better than I found it? How do I use my unique circumstances and point of view to be a living, breathing, testament of my faith? I’ve had people say terrible stuff to me, about me, and about my mom. Yes, my mom. One day: I called my mom crying because an undergrad classmate said, “CP comes from mothers being drug addicts. What did your mom use?”  She professed my faith. I asked.  My mom said, “You know better, my girl. Use your end of the semester project to sit her straight. She needs knowledge and you can give it.” Mom was right, so I did.

I’ll never forget the look on the girl’s face. She was stunned. She never bothered me again, but she didn’t apologize, either. After transferring to my four year college, I met more people who encouraged me to use my voice, brain, and talents to make the world better. Meeting people who had a different story, background, and journey than me made me say to God: If you love me, unconditionally, and you do; don’t you love the rest of the world the same way? The answer I received was a resounding yes. Armed with that, I set out to figure out how to be the best follower of Christ I could.

What I’ve discovered time & again is this: “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only son; so whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life. ~John 3:16.  Love. My God doesn’t hate. My God loves so much He sent a substitute to live the life I can’t, and the substitute took the punishment I deserve. If I believe that, and I do, there is only one way to live my life: leading with love. It’s not my job to judge, to condemn, to do anything more than do my best to be an example of love, tolerance, respect, and Grace in action.

It makes me angry, sad, and more determined to live the life I described when I hear, read, or witness anybody that professes my faith using that faith to spew hate, breed fear, and to, generally, make people go if that’s what being a Christian is about I want no part of that. I strive to be a living, breathing, example, showing faith in Christ is about love & acceptance; because no one on this planet is perfect. We all fall short. It’s inevitable. Jesus said, “Come & see.” That’s what I what I want to be known as: a young woman who says I’m not perfect. I screw up. I struggle. However, the One who lives in me is “Greater” than all of it.” Watch & see.

If you think, I’m not like everybody else, and maybe even, no Christian you’ve ever been around: you’re right. I am a missionary of Amazing Grace, and I just want to be tolerant and loving. That’s it. Take it or leave it. That’s totally fine. No judgement, or condemnation here. End of story. If I do that, at the end of this life, I will know I’ve left the world better than I found it. For me: it’s that simple. If I continue to be a missionary for Christ, at the end of this life, I’ll hear: “Well done, my child.” For me: it doesn’t get better than that.