After the 2016 election cycle I struggled to process my feelings. All the hats I wear felt much too heavy a burden to carry and balance. Everywhere I went people I know along with those I do not wanted to know my thoughts because I am a political scientist, a presidential scholar, and will always be a presidential fellow. Separating my feelings and opinions from the facts (as I am trained to do) felt nearly impossible. It felt like everybody (from both sides of the political spectrum) was constantly at odds with each other ready to yell to prove how correct their viewpoint is. In such an environment, nobody was interested in hearing others. I was exhausted and more than frustrated. How did we get here and what now became recurring questions I had no answers to.
In late January 2017: my chosen brother/journey partner met me for new chair driving practice and hang out time at the mall where we spent a lot of time when we were teenagers. I was up against the wall when he walked through the familiar door at our agreed meeting location. He smiled and so did I. Hi, we both said. Thank you for agreeing to do this on such short notice. “Of course, he said with a grin, you look like I feel.” I bit my lip and grinned slightly. That good, huh, was my pitiful attempt at humor. He came over for a hug. When we hugged, I released a deep breath I did not realize I was holding. He heard me. Pulling back he said, “Give me all of it. Let me in and let me see, Stace.” I gave him a look. He said, “This is me.” I know, but it is a lot, driving practice is always just me” He nodded. “Now, it is us.” Looking at him I saw him smiling. I felt relaxed, finally. Together I said. Although, I did not phrase it as a question he answered me the way we always do when one of us needs reassurance. Man, am I glad to see you I said smiling at the face I know as well as my own. You are sure, I asked, one final time. He moved in front of me. I knew what he was doing. I met his gaze evenly. I took another deep breath, and he grinned. “Let’s do this. I am right here.” Nodding I said, okay, quietly.
For the next couple of hours all we did was wander around and talk. We both needed the hang out I quickly discovered. After that night, we felt better, but kept talking regularly. We still do and always will. As we kept talking, praying, and thinking both separately and together I could not lessen my internal tension. One day I said I think I need to be quiet. He asked me for more words. About politics, I think I need to be quiet about politics. He laughed. I know. I am not making sense, either. He was quiet. I think I need to separate my life and work for now, at least. It is too much. Saying it out loud felt like removing a ton pound weight from my shoulders. I breathed deeply. “You think or you know?” Yeah, that was all I said. I could feel him nodding through the phone nearly. “Yup” he responded.
In the years since, I continue to not give political opinions out loud, mostly; and what I have found is we have much more in common than we do differences. We all want the same basics. We just have different ideas and approaches about how to achieve them. If we can just see each other as people first and remember to approach everybody with love, compassion, empathy, respect, and acceptance; because that is what each of us wants, needs, and deserves: life will not just be less noisy. It will be filled with possibilities and opportunities as well.