By This week was challenging. Good grief was it ever. During weeks like this doubt creeps in. I thought: “What if I do not make everybody who loves me proud? What if I turn into my worst nightmare: A loser?” See, children like me (with physical challenges) are often told to accept our lots in life growing up. Simply because we are different. We will never amount to a hill of beans. We cannot is often refrain. We should feel sorry for ourselves because the world does. I have seen and heard parents tell their own miracle children such nonsense.
I have been told such nonsense, not by my parents, but others who I am sure meant well. Those people do not understand me or my capabilities I am not supposed to have but do have because God gave me the abilities. However, being told such nonsense, no matter how well meaning, sticks with you; and sometimes, when I am having a rough day, it whispers the lie again to try to bring me lower than I already am.
I did not say anything because I did want to talk about it. I am talking about it now. A loser I am not, nor will I EVER be. I will make everybody I love proud. If I need the above pep talk a million more times, I can have it. My chosen family and angels will not let me listen to the whispers of doubt and will love me when I forget to love myself as they always have. Together will get us through all the challenges of life. I just must let those that know me best into my head when it metaphorically rains on my difficult days and weeks, I know that, but I go on autopilot thinking I must do everything by myself. Then everything looks a lot more difficult than it must be. I share what my week has been like, so those of have had a difficult week where doubt has crept in know that you are doing much better than you think. Everything is going to be better than just okay, and I want to make sure you all know that truth, too.