I was going to blog about something from my ever-growing list of ideas on my computer, then last night happened. This is my most raw, honest, blog to date. As this journey continues: I’m sure I’ll feel led to change my plan. This blog, my journey, my life is in God’s hands, always. It usually just takes me time to listen. Not today…because I can see my chosen family in my mind’s eye. I can here them as well. “Come on, Stace. It’s okay. It’ll help more people the more honest you are. Be brave.” Yeah, y’all are right. I need to go back before I explain last night, however.
As a small child, I had seizures. This is not uncommon for children with my condition. The doctor(s) said I might grow out of them, and if I did, I could stop taking the nasty tasting liquid medicine (my description not theirs). I did grow out of having seizures. In 4th grade, I had the first seizure I’d had in years…in class in front of all my classmates. Mom took me took me to the doctor immediately when my teacher called her. Then there was a trip to see my neurologist a few days later. I always enjoyed those appointments so much (not). They included lots of poking, prodding, and test orders. His prescription: no medicine, but slow down (pick one extracurricular activity not four) and get plenty of sleep.
Along came puberty a few years later, and oh did it bring many challenges. Every time I experienced a growth spurt: nausea-inducing headaches unless I had snacks to stave off a blood sugar drop (still have those if I forget to eat). Muscle spasms from spikes in my muscle tone. These will always be a challenge to deal with in my life. The peace de resistance is what I call CP spells or spells for short. It feels like an all over muscle spasm. Thankfully, they’re very short…usually 30 seconds to a minute. The best, I and my medical team from childhood, can figure out is that they’re small seizures brought on by stress and/or hormonal changes.
Which brings us back to last night…I had a major spell last night. I know why. I can feel them coming before they do… most of the time. I knew. I just had no way of knowing how bad. It was really bad. Mom knew & had me hold Coco (for her warmth, distraction, and love). For those that don’t know Coco is my dog. A rat terrier to be exact. She is my baby and buddy. The spell happened right before bed. I went straight to bed after, slept well and in this morning. Rest and sleep are paramount to kicking the side effects of them. I took no medicine last night, either. I prefer to get through spells without medication if possible. It’s not always possible, but when it is, I consider it a victory. Today, I’m trying to rest as much as possible.
CP doesn’t define me, and it will NEVER run my life. However, I do have to deal with it. I can’t pretend it doesn’t exist. I’ve tried earlier in life. That’s why I named this blog what I did: I have this condition, but I will do my best to thrive with it…even on the bad days. I have CP, so that I can show others how to deal with less than ideal circumstances. CP is not a punishment from my Father as some people have told my parents and I over the years. CP is not a curse, either. It has some blessings, which I’ll talk about in a later post. It just is. Everybody who loves me helps me thrive. We help each other. We thrive together.