I had a really rough day CP wise yesterday. My kind of CP means I have too much muscle tone, and my muscles often get tight. This is particularly true when I don’t feel great. Yesterday was one of those days. I know why and as soon as it’s safe to do so: I’m going to resume my search for a good doctor who will work with me, and listen to keep me running on all cylinders as much as possible. I’m very blessed that I’m healthy.
A lot of people with CP have lots of complications I do not. However, I do have tough days physically, sometimes. It’s inevitable. I had to take one of my doctor prescribed muscle relaxers. No matter what I did I couldn’t get my muscles to relax. It was bad enough that I had a hard time sitting still. My doctor for years, who is at another practice now, knows that I only take medicine as a last resort. He used to tease me that if I came to see him: I was feeling utterly awful. He trusts me to responsibly self medicate. I always have done so well.
His teasing description isn’t wrong. I’m not a fan of doctors at all. I’ve been poked and prodded a lot in my life due to my condition. Any time my immune system allows me to skip a doctor’s visit I happily do. When I have a rough day physically if I don’t take the last resort muscle relaxer: it results in a trip the ER for a pain shot. I get to keep them on hand so I don’t have to visit the hospital. It’s really important to do so, now, due to the pandemic. Getting the corona virus is not something I want or am willing to risk.
Yesterday, I was pretty quiet. I didn’t reach out to my chosen family until after the worst was over and the medicine was already in my system. I know better, but I didn’t want to burden them. Additionally, I didn’t want them to worry. It’s difficult for me to chronicle yesterday day for y’all. I usually don’t want to talk about difficult days with CP. I want to be positive and uplifting. The truth is difficult days do exist for me. This blog requires me being honest with all of you to help others. It’s just a fact. Tough days are not limited to me. Everybody has them. The question on days like yesterday is do I let a rough day define who I am? If you’ve been following this blog any length of time you know the answer: no.
I’m God’s daughter and a literal miracle. When I remember that giving up is NEVER an option. I’m determined to live a full, beautiful, world changing life. I believe that’s what God wants me to do. I’m going to do my best to live in a way that God is proud of. Making everybody else that loves me proud is important too. I’ve recently made me being proud of myself a priority as well. I wrote this post to remind y’all that letting a tough day define you or make you give up on yourself isn’t necessary. Tough days are part of life. It’s how we deal with them, and come on out on the other side that matters. They make me more determined to thrive.
I know circumstances are difficult for a lot of you right now. I don’t have to know you to know that. All I have to do is turn on the news. I’m living, breathing, proof things will get better if you don’t give up. My whole journey is a testament to what I just said. If you have been directly impacted by the pandemic in some way: I’m praying for your comfort and peace. I’m praying that you find the inner strength to move forward in our new normal in a way that brings joy and fulfillment. Don’t be afraid to start over and build the life you always imagined. You are valuable to the world. We need your gifts and abilities. Also, I pray this post gives y’all hope. If you need to reach out to me to get support: please do so without fear of judgement. Thank y’all for the support and for reading as always.