If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know I’ve been on a health and wellness journey since May. Having CP makes this journey more difficult because I sit so much, and my body doesn’t always do what I want it to in terms of movement. The past few weeks have shown that being healthy and well is difficult for everybody. If you are thinking well duh, please hear me out. I was in a couple of stores on my birthday last Monday shopping (yes, I was being safe and wearing a mask) and was jarred when I looked around after not having been in stores much in so long.
Most clothes I liked only came in extra small or small. I am in no way saying there are not women who need those sizes. It just made me sad for a minute. Why? I am never going to be that size no matter how hard I try. The only way would be if I starved myself. Such drastic measures do not enter my mind. As I went out the door having bought nothing, I gave myself a pep talk. “You feel better since May. Movement is easier and the rest will come. There is no magic pill for this. It is a lifelong process. You are worthy and loved now just as you are. You are whole. You are doing great and I’m proud. “
The next store mama and I went in is one of our favorites. Going through the door and smelling the coffee being brewed made me smile. For those who don’t know I’m a coffee/espresso lover. Following mama to help her with our list, we passed the makeup and skin care section. It is much bigger post store renovation. Observing the women getting helped by employees eager to give advice on a particular product or the woman’s individual concern: I was struck by how much time, money, and energy is spent chasing a perfection that doesn’t exist.
I made myself a promise right then and there: I will NOT go to a beauty counter again. The pandemic (pre-vaccine) meant that I bought my skincare and makeup online. I vowed to keep it up. Some salesperson doesn’t know my skin or my color preferences as well as I do. I am my own personal beauty consultant and I know what’s best for me. Never again will I give into the pressure to buy something I don’t want or need because of someone else.
Health and wellness are also having a healthy perspective. Such a perspective is a form of self-care. What is perfection? It isn’t on a magazine cover picture airbrushed. On a red carpet? No, our favorite celebrities have a whole glam squad so they can look “perfect.” Last Monday, I was reminded I want to be real instead of perfect in all aspects of my life. I have spent too much of my life chasing perfection. Yeah, I’m a perfectionist. It’s exhausting. Now, as I write this, I say to y’all: I’m going to be conscious of my perfectionist tendencies. My own worst critic daily, I’m going to try to just let my best be enough and let everything else go. It will be a lifelong process, as my chosen family, can tell you, but it is a worthy pursuit. Anybody else tired of chasing perfection and just want to be real? If I’ve struck a chord let’s work on being real together. I’m so ready and hope you are too.