By Two days ago, I woke up with multiple muscle spasms doing their best to overwhelm my body and make it impossible to breathe properly and fully. Fearful and near tears I called my parents. My dad wanted to know what I needed when he got to my apartment and saw me in obvious terrible pain. Trying to explain what I needed him to do while trying to take deep breaths like those in my mediation exercises to hopefully get more oxygen into my bloodstream and help my muscles relax a bit, hopefully, was impossible. Dad’s feelings of helplessness and anxiety were not helping, either, because his anxiety was fueling my distress further. When mama walked in she asked me what was wrong. After she knew, she helped me switch positions until I was comfortable.
After I was able to breathe properly and get up from bed, I was frustrated with the start to the day. I have been taking care of myself well, I thought. I have. Remembering that sometimes my symptoms related to my condition just are difficult was helpful. It just is what it is as one of my chosen brothers likes to remind me. “We just deal with what is condition wise at any given moment, Stace.” He is right. For anybody who thinks having my condition is simple, easy, or fun I assure you it is not. Thriving is a choice that I make repeatedly daily because I will NEVER let my condition dictate my life…not EVER. Dealing with symptoms and flareups as they happen while letting everybody who loves me help me to thrive is all I can do. It is the only choice I will make.
This must have been terrifying for You and your parents and I am glad they were able to assist You in easing the spasms and regaining regular breathing. Your post reminds Me that although it seems as if many of us strive to live a happy, independent life—I suspect we actually live a stronger, happier and more fulfilled interdependent life-helping others and allowing others to help US. 🙏🏼💙🙏🏼🤍🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼
It was terrifying. I wondered if the paramedics were going to have to help. Thankfully, they didn’t have to help What you just said reminds me of the importance of together. We need the support of those that love, us and sometimes the kindness of strangers to get through life well. Thanks for reading and for commenting. I appreciate it. ~Stacey