By Cannot or can. It is a recurring question, for me, because of my condition. The question keeps coming back over and over. It is not an accident, but part of the crazy/beautiful journey. I have a massive cannot wall in my head. I did not think it was still there. I thought I busted through it a long time ago. Turns out, not so much. I have had conversations with the two,chosen, brothers who know me best when I have wanted to give up on making the world better using all of my gifts and talents to do so.
One is more gentle and less fiery. He can usually get his point across with a two-word sentence: “Really Stace?” That is all I get? “Here is more. NO. You are not. “ The other, he’s fiery: “NO, Stace. You are not. You have two choices, and one is not happening on my watch. You can either play ball or you can cry it out then play ball.” That is not how this usually goes, bro. “I know. I changed it.” I know pieces of the journey puzzle, now, I did not all the times I wanted to give up.
I am getting better at opening my mouth when I need together to do what it does best. Crazy does not cover the journey I share with my chosen brother/journey partner now. We need more words. It is overwhelming. Part of me wants to not step fully into God’s plan(s) for my life and my half of the crazy/beautiful journey. Fear will not derail my purpose, however. I am going to walk with my journey partner/chosen brother one step at a time. Following the directives from God for my half of our shared journey. It is my privilege to help my chosen brother/journey partner do the same with his half.
Together is not just a word uttered by two 15 year old kids anymore. It is truth, journey work, and defines our kind of crazy. As uncomfortable as my half of our shared journey feels, I must do it…all of it. We must do all of it. Back-to-back one step at a time. Different roads that intersect and intertwine everywhere. I know this is right and true. We can do all of it. There is no cannot option anymore. It is off the table. It is time to bust through the fear and “go all in” on changing the world for the better. Do I know how to do that? Nope…not totally. However, I do not have to. We will figure it out…TOGETHER.
