Boundaries always have been important to me. Lots of people with CP have issues with being touched. Thankfully, that is not the case for me. I do have boundaries for touching though. These have more to do with being a woman than having CP. Having boundaries is part of self-care. They are also paramount to overall health and wellness in my estimation.
Strangers hugging me is a no go. Shaking my hand, patting my arm/shoulder is fine in most situations. As a child: I did not want any man touching me except dad or Kirk. My instincts always have been strong. Everybody who loved me as a kid respected my instincts and intuition. Granny and Kirk really encouraged everybody to do so. God absolutely blessed me with those two incredible souls in my blood family.
After Kirk went to Heaven: my chosen brothers kept up with his lessons about how to read people and their intentions. I have always been able to, but Kirk and my chosen brothers made/make sure I never lose the skill. I say all of that to get to the point of this blog post. I had an experience today where I no longer could just be firm with someone. Drawing a line in the sand had to be done. I do not regret it in the least. My boundaries are useless if not enforced. Today, I enforced them. What follows are tips to help you all enforce your boundaries (if you have them) or begin creating boundaries for yourself if you do not have them…yet.
These are in no order:
- For me, knowing what I do NOT want helps me know what I do want
- My past experiences, and in some cases traumas, helps me remember do NOT repeat the same mistakes. Break the cycle and pattern, Stace. I tell myself over and over. It is working. I am.
- I am worth it and worthy. All of you are as well.
- “Feeling it all. Means I am fully human and not a broken mess anymore. The world is broken I am not, however.” Thanks, Glennon Doyle and your masterpiece Untamed as well as your podcast for this constant reminder. If she is not broken, I am not and neither are any of you.
I have a lot more tips, but I think they are better suited for my next post…even though they fit here as well. Just consider these last two sentences a teaser for my next post in a couple days. PS: Happy Birthday to my incredible, mama a little early! Her birthday is tomorrow. I love her dearly and will be a little less active. I want to celebrate her not only with presents tomorrow, but by being present with her as well.